My new house is an upsize from my previous apartment — a nearly 900 sqft increase and the addition of one full bedroom and a den. But throughout this move I have felt this constant pressure to downsize my possessions. It’s not just the act of moving itself causing this pressure, but a complete overhaul of how I think about storage and the hidden clutter than lurks behind closed closet doors.
That apartment felt like it had so much hidden storage space compared to where I lived before. I went from a 1/1 with no pantry, a small galley kitchen, no linen closet, and no bathroom storage to a 2/2 with massive closets, a kitchen with a large island, a pantry so large it had double doors, and dedicated bathroom storage on a double vanity sink. Suddenly, almost everything could fit somewhere out of sight (but not always out of mind).
By the end of our time in that 2/2 apartment, it felt like all of our stuff was exploding out of storage. I piled up unopened craft kits in the dining room, which was now my makeshift office and craft space. Bathroom drawers spilled out onto countertops. The pantry became unmanageable as more and more and more accumulated (thanks to some hurricane supplies towards the end tbh). We could barely walk into the smaller of the two closets by the time we started packing. It was abundantly clear — we had too much stuff. It was time to downsize, even if we were moving somewhere that could hold all of the stuff…or so I thought.
I have lost so much kitchen space in this move. Specifically, I have lost so much pantry space. Figuring out how to set up the kitchen in a way where stuff is accessible to my short shelf while also having my husband’s essentials front and center for him has been a challenge. You see, he’s one of those guys who is blind to anything not directly in front of him, and our old pantry allowed him to keep his myriad of supplements and essential food right where he couldn’t miss them. I also developed a bad habit of hoarding pantry essentials because of the pandemic. Like, do I really need to buy two smoked paprikas whenever I run out of one? No, not anymore. But…I was doing that at one point and there is no time like the present to downsize.
We also lost our kitchen island, where I stored a lot of our small kitchen appliances. Some unused things have been donated, and my one big new house purchase — a buffet/sideboard/credenza/whatever you call it — took care of the rest.
My craft supplies started spilling out of our joint storage closet into other areas of the apartment, so I have put in a more stringent rule for the new place: Crafts go in the craft room and no where else. If I get to the point where I can’t store my craft supplies in this room, then I’ve fucked up big somewhere. Exercise equipment is under a similar rule; if it can’t fit in the dedicated fitness room (our den/bonus room), then do we really need it? If towels can’t fit in our linen closet, do we need it? If new bathroom products can’t fit into the new storage we bought for the primary bathroom, do we really need it?
I never want to get to that over cluttered state we were in before the move. I feel so much better mentally when I’m in an organized space, but it became a little too easy to shove my hoard somewhere out of sight and forget how bad it really was. I find some irony in the amount of downsizing I have done to prep for a move into a much larger space, but as I sit in my clean, organized office writing this, I feel better than I ever did in my office corner of the dining room in the apartment. Everything has a place, a home. I don’t see a dining table full of odds and ends with no home in front of me anymore. Don’t get me wrong — I’m still a maximalist decorator at heart, but there is a vast gulf between maximalist decor and straight up clutter. I was living in the clutter and calling it maximalist to make myself feel better.
I grew up with a dad who likes to collect things and a mom who loves to throw things away. Living in fear that my mom would throw my stuff out at any moment without asking probably exacerbated any collector tendencies I inherited from my dad. As an adult, I have struggled with impulse buying during periods of depression and that collector/scarcity mindset that I must get what I can now before it’s taken away from me. I’m really putting in the effort now to pull myself out of that, because I don’t want to end up like that again.
I have more than enough for my lifetime, and I really have grown to love this feeling, one of looking around and feeling nothing but calm at the sight of my physical space. I don’t feel embarrassed to have people over now. My focus is so much better in this office than it ever was at the dining room table.
I’ve had multiple people, including both of my parents, tell me so matter-of-factly that we’re going to fill this place up with stuff because that’s what happens when you’re in a larger space, and I want to laugh at it every time. There is a middle ground between overly cluttered and stark nothingness, and I feel like that gets lost in conversations like this. Yes, craft supplies live in the craft room, but if it fits in the closet then it fits within the new guidelines. Like, I can have my cake and eat it too in this instance. Putting guardrails in place to prevent the situation we were in isn’t denying everything. But so many people struggle to live life in the vast gray area, sticking to this black and white thinking and pushing it on other people. Liminality is my friend is many facets of life, and this is no different.
I can have stuff AND I can avoid having too much stuff. And you know what? I don’t feel deprived one damn bit either.
I should have done this years ago, but now is the second best time to start.